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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

NEW DAY

So like iyahannah says... I woke up about 30 min. ago and for the first time in weeks i kinda felt a Lil happy. I guess writing about your problems really do help, Well since i slept the whole day away (i been doing that a lot lately [boring summer break]lol) it's really nothing for me to do but do some blogging which I'm starting to get addicted to lol. Um I'm kinda running out of stuff to talk about... well i can't wait until the new season of Degrassi start (that show is like so amazing). I also can't wait till the movie come out I want to see why Paige get slapped. So now I'm trying to find out if i should switch make up brands I really love the queen collection but i want to see what else is out there I'm getting kinda tired of every time i open my make up bag (which is like every 10 min) all i see is purple lol so people tell me what you think i should switch to also share your make up tips with me!!! smoochez

DREAMS

So like iyahannah says... have anybody ever told you to follow your dreams (parents, friends, teachers) but then when you tell them what those dreams are they don't support them. Well from first hand experience i know how it feels when nobody supports your dreams in life because that's not what they want for you. I want to be a model/ actress but my momma and grandma does not see those as real jobs they want me to go to college and get some high paying job. I can understand they want the best for me but in the end the best thing for me is to be happy and i know me going to college and working some 9-5 wont make me happy. I have nothing against college i always wanted to go but i have to serious about this first off my whole 9Th grade year i skipped my classes and 10Th grade year i tried to do better but i ended up playing around so college is pretty much out the question and to be honest i don't think school is for me. You could pretty much say i wasted tax payers dollars but i didn't choose to go school i had to go. But anyway can somebody tell me whats the point of dreaming when you are not going to be able to go after them?

i DON'T KNOW YOU

So like iyahannah says... Have you ever woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and realized you don't know that person who is looking back at you. I mean everything about you is still the same your eyes are still dark brown with kind of a sultry look, your nose is still the same with the little bump that nobody can tell unless they stare at you for hours, your lips still have the same fullness that they always had. But then when you speek you notice that something did change instead of having that voice that sound like you are full of life you now have a voice that is dull and flat with no excitement what so ever your voice alone has lost all pride and confidence and happiness that once belong to it. So what should you do now? Should you do what everybody say and hold you head up high and remain positive? What if there is nothing to remain positive about because life as you know it is dead? So what i am asking is what should i do? should i do another suicide attempt but go all the way this time? Should i just go along and act like nothing is wrong with me and that i'm not hurting at all? Or should i just go back to bed wake up the next morning and never look at a mirror again? I lived a life acting like nothing is wrong with me and acting like nothing bothers me but the truth is i'm like anybody else i don't handle my problems like most people but i do get hurt and when something hurts me it huts a lot but this is just a side that nobody knows.... 

Monday, June 29, 2009

FiRST BLOG YAY!!!

So like iyahannah says...this blog thing is very new i don't know what to really say but first i will say that my name is iyahannah if you haven't guessed that yet. my name is pronounced I-YAH-NAH its pretty simple when you think about it i don't know why its spelled with so many letters lol...well anyway i don't really have a main theme for my blog so if you have any ideas you can email me...smoochez